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New Baldur’s Gate 3 Player Stats Prove You’re All Knife-Happy Bard Murderers - Kotaku

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New Baldur’s Gate 3 Player Stats Prove You’re All Knife-Happy Bard Murderers - Kotaku

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I want everyone involved brought up on charges

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Ash Parrish By Published August 4, 2026 | Comments (6) | 𝕏

Larian Studios likes to pull back the curtain a little bit and show us what average (and not-so-average) players like to get up to in Baldur’s Gate 3. Years ago, when the developers first started sharing stats, they showed that the most popular create-a-character choices resulted in a guy who looked like the Fallout Vault Dweller. Now, the latest stats reveal something much more sinister: All of you are fucking murderers. Buried in a breakdown of the story NPCs who have died the most was the bullet point that Alfira, the happy-go-lucky tiefling bard you meet at the beginning of the game, was more likely to be murdered by a non-Dark Urge player than by one that chooses the Dark Urge background.

More non-Dark Urge players have managed to murder Alfira than Dark Urge players.

Spawn of Bhaal or not, maybe it’s time to stop pointing fingers.

— Larian Studios (@larianstudios.com) 2026-08-04T16:09:39.517Z

If you don’t remember, Alfira is the first casualty of the Dark Urge character. Her death is the introduction to the idea that the Dark Urge is absolutely fucked in the head and will be compelled to murder throughout the game by the lingering presence of the dark god Bhaal. And it’s compulsory. She always dies. But somehow the sum total of Dark Urge players forced to kill her is outstripped by regular-degular players who apparently just murder her for funsies?!

What the entire fuck?

There are other fun tidbits Larian shared in the stats this year.

It's that time of year again, you naughty number-loving nerds.

— Larian Studios (@larianstudios.com) 2026-08-04T16:09:39.472Z

Apparently over 100 people chose to play the game in a 1:1 aspect ratio while another subset of sickos (affectionate) played in 9:16, either to feel cool about tilting their monitors that way or to start their burgeoning BG3 content creator career by capturing footage in vertical video mode. Another fun stat was that four players used the poop-knife weapon in battle in Act 3.

Some of you faced the Absolute with the most powerful weapons, others decided to bring a charcuterie board to a fight with a giant brain.

Speaking of weapons, you’ve been very skilled at finding the rarer ones in the game.
Shout out to the folk who willingly wielded the rusty Poo-Scraper in Act 3.

— Larian Studios (@larianstudios.com) 2026-08-04T16:09:39.541Z

But I’m never gonna be able to square the fact that people are just out there murdering Alfira for no reason. Who are you? Show yourself. Answer for your crimes.

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출처: Kotaku

작성자: Ash Parrish

원문 게시일: 2026-08-04T20:15:59Z

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